Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize