The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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