No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
