lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
