i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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