she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your cock deserves a montage
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
