You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she peed on how many people?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
