i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
