K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize