we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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