Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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