i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
