There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it wasn't lemon gatorade
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
