he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
pop tarts are not kleenex
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
