I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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