i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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