I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
