I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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