OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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