it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize