when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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