Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This baby is an asshole
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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