We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
