literally had 100 drinks last night.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
