I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
