you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
