She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
