well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
