dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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