Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They have beer where we have blood.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
