Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize