I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
