he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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