He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
