Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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