Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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