Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize