Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
