I must be too annoying 4 u.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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