his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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