If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
