Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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