Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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