ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
