i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize