it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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