My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
