i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize