I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
