im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
