Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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