Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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