your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
