Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
