you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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