No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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