I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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