He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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