I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
