Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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