I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
