trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
sex in a hospital.. check
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
