You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
