you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
