Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
