can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
