ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
