he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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