I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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