eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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