I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
