just tell him i said nine months
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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