Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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