So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
