your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
