dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
