If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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