He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
